Bitter and Broken
by fantasticality
Summary: Bitter and broken. Those two words described me perfectly. I'm Leah Clearwater, and this is my story. Leah-centric.


***sigh* I really shouldn't be starting another story. But this idea kinda struck me, and I couldn't really let it slip. I'm not sure if this idea is clichèd and overused, but if it is, I'm sorry, then. This is also my first Twilight story, and I'm not sure if I'm keeping Leah in character. I'm also not sure about her age, so if I'm wrong, bear with me or correct me if you know.**

**And just a quick shoutout, happy birthday, Becca.**

**Hope you guys like it!**

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Bitter and broken.

Those two words suit Leah Clearwater perfectly.

Leah Clearwater's life is cynical and angry. Leah Clearwater's life used to be happy and calm. And Leah Clearwater also has no idea why she's speaking in third person.

Okay, so I'm not the brightest bulb of the bunch, and I'm not talking about my brains. I'm sarcastic, I'm apathetic, and I'm bitter. But hey, heartbreak and hurt does that to a person. Find out how you'd feel when the love of your life leaves you for your best friend, your cousin no less, and then your father dies. Then we'll talk.

When you look back on the first twenty years of my life, you'd find that I was content and in love. Then look at the last four years and ta da! Almost-instant bitch! (No pun intended.)

I mean, you can't really place the blame solely on me. Blame the ass, or dog I should say, who left me. I loved him for four damn years of my life and what did he do? He fucking dumped me for my best friend, my cousin! It's been eight years since I went on my first date with Sam and had fallen in love with him. And now, after those eight years, I still love him. It sucks. It sucks werewolf ass. Seriously.

It was because of him that I grew distant from Emily. I loved her so much. She was my best friend, the sister I had always wanted. When she hooked up with Sam, all I wanted to do was rip her apart. When she was scarred by Sam, I couldn't help but feel satisfied. Both of them had gotten what they deserved. Emily received the pain and scars that equaled the ones I carried. Sam felt the awful guilt that would stay with him forever, just like the bitterness that haunted my soul.

When the two of them got engaged, Emily had the gall to ask me to be her maid of honor. I had agreed. I went through everything with her. I picked out dresses, cakes, flowers, and a reception location. It was like killing me slowly and painfully, inside out. During the ceremony, I had a forced smile on my face the entire time when all I wanted to do was rip everything to shreds. During the reception, I gave a speech filled with false tears and hollow 'good luck' wishes. All I wanted to do was yell at them, to show them all the heartache they had caused me.

And then as if it was icing on the cake, my dad was killed by a leech. Great. When I was still recuperating from the loss of Sam, fate just had to throw another loss at me. La de fucking da. I remember hearing the news from my distraught mom, and then I just walked away, my heart completely frozen.

I guess my heart still hasn't melted.

I remember walking up to my room to escape the wails of Seth and Mom. I remember tears flowing down my face, but I don't remember sobbing. I remember feeling as though I was burning from the inside out. I remember jumping out the window from two stories up and landing unscathed. I remember running and running on my feet. Then all of a sudden, I landed on my hands and took off. By the time I realized it, I was in a natural park somewhere in Seattle, a wolf.

The transformation was quick and almost painless. I didn't get the long, drawn-out fever and other symptoms the other members of the pack got. It was a mythological mystery to the pack.

Phasing was a way of saving me, so to speak. It gave me a chance to escape from reality and just _run_. It also gave me a way to antagonize Sam. Over and over, I replay the scene where I walked in on him and Emily kissing. I replay the scene when I had witnessed Sam giving Emily those scars. I replay them over and over again just to relish in the pain I see reflected in his eyes.

_"Leah, please stop," _he would beg.

Hah! Not until you felt the pain you gave me. At least your love isn't unrequited.

Unrequited love sure is the pits, ain't it?

And then, if it wasn't enough, Jacob Black came along with a human. I could tell he hadn't imprinted on her, but the stubborn idiot just kept pursuing her when she was in love with another. He reminded me so much of myself, it hurt. God, when I saw those two, all I wanted to do was punch a tree to bits.

I saw how much he loved her. I saw how much he wanted Bella to not become a blood-sucker. I also saw it was inevitable. She wouldn't leave her intended, and nothing would stop her. I saw she loved Dumb Fuzz a lot, but she loved Sparkles more. (Yes, I know, I'm so creative with nicknames.) My frozen heart went out to Jacob, but it couldn't offer much warmth.

And then Jacob got into an argument with Sam and left the pack. I saw this as a chance of escaping him, escaping my life, escaping my heartache. So I took it. I left the pack and joined Jacob's with my brother. In Uley's pack, I couldn't gain a higher rank because of my gender. Sexist bitches. In Jacob's I was second-in-command and free of Sam's incessant orders and perverse thoughts.

For the first time in the first four years, I was free.

Yet, the agony didn't stop there. Black imprinted on a half-vampire. His old flame's daughter! A surge of jealousy had coursed through my body once I found out. A sixteen-year-old brat had found true love before me. It hurt. It made me wonder if I even had a soul mate in the world. Was it really too much to ask for from fate to find true love and happiness?

Four years worth of torturous events takes a toll on your personality. I'm a sadistic, apathetic bitch. (Still no pun intended.)

Bitter and broken.

Those two words suit Leah perfectly.

Leah Clearwater's life is cynical and angry. Leah Clearwater's life used to be happy and calm. Most people have no idea how Leah ended up this way.

She is Leah Clearwater, and this is her story.

(And she still has no idea why she's talking in third person.)

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**Okay, I think what I'm going to do on this story is show different snippets of Leah's life in chronological order. Like "First Date," "Emily's Visit," and stuff like that. But what I want you to vote on is whether or not it should be written in Leah's POV or the author's? **

**Reviews are greatly appreciated!**


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